Starshine

May 10, 2012

One Tyke, One Teen

It's the most irksome and indubitable law of the universe: Fate favors The Planner. The gal with the foresight to research preschools while she's pregnant. Or to begin funding a 529 plan before her child can even gurgle the word "college." Or to know what the frack she's serving her family for dinner before she gets home from work at 6:22 p.m. and announces, yet again, "Umm ... exciting news, everyone: It's soup night! Grab your favorite can!"

In life — and in parenting, especially — she who wings it regrets it. But that's exactly how I wound up having my kids seven years apart. When the other moms in my baby group were plotting their second and even third children, citing anecdotes about brotherly bonding and quoting stats about the effect of sibling spacing on each child's health, intelligence, and self-esteem ... I was busy trying to distinguish Boudreaux's Butt Paste from Motherlove Nipple Cream, clawing my way out from beneath daily heaps of burp cloths and wondering if I'd accidentally stuffed my once-vigorous mojo into the Diaper Genie during a bleary-eyed late-night changing.

By the time I emerged from the disorienting fog of baby care into the dense haze of toddler care and then, well, into the light but still unpleasantly wet mist of 1st-grader care (okay, I'm easily overwhelmed), it was too late to have children who would ever want to ride the same rides at Disneyland much less be able to attend the same school.

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April 26, 2012

Indecent Exposure

Today's teens are born to porn. Need we worry?
Read it >> 1 comments

April 12, 2012

Coregasm

Who knew workouts could rock your socks?
Read it >> 1 comments

March 29, 2012

Mommy Porn

Turn-ons: whips, chains, walks on the beach. Turn-offs: Dreadful writing.
Read it >> 1 comments

March 15, 2012

Good-Bye, Private Parts

Big brother is watching. Also: the neighbors' kid.
Read it >> 0 comments

March 1, 2012

'Om' Em Gee: I Did Naked Yoga

If you strip down ... can you let go?
Read it >> 2 comments

February 16, 2012

After-School Gospel

Is 'The Good News Club' bad news?
Read it >> 11 comments

More Columns >> More News & Events >>

"I'm not really one to read the newspaper, but I always end up reading your column. I love the humor you see in everyday things."


Risa E



Recent columns:

May 10, 2012
One Tyke, One Teen

April 26, 2012
Indecent Exposure

April 12, 2012
Coregasm

March 29, 2012
Mommy Porn

March 15, 2012
Good-Bye, Private Parts

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Rated PG for Parental Gaffe

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