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Pink Tax Got You Blue?

For Many Products, Women Pay More than Men

What could I do with $64, 843?

I could buy an all-wheel-drive Performance Model 3 Tesla — it’s the cheap kind, but still. I could sponsor 133 kids at the border for a year through Save the Children. I could get a massage at a fancy spa every week for nearly a decade, or have PoopSenders.com mail 1,666 gallons of steaming elephant excrement to the White House — any of which would give me nearly pornographic pleasure.

I’m told $64,843 is about what I’ve handed over so far in my lifetime to the Pink Tax — the upcharge added onto goods and services that are marketed specifically to women. From toys to clothing to grooming products, a 2015 study by the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs showed that women pay 7 percent more than men do for similar items.

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Women Can’t Be Funny (Seriously)

Study Shows Women Using Humor at Work Seen as ‘Disruptive’

More women are running for president right now than ever before in history. Harris, Warren, Klobuchar, Gillibrand, Gabbard, and even Marianne “I’m here for my own amusement” Williamson are keeping their male counterparts on the run, and I hope they’ll keep it up. They should be bold, speaking out whether they’re invited to or not. They should be fearless, calling out opponents on their hypocrisies.

But according to a recent study, there’s one thing they should not do: crack a joke.

While using humor in the workplace is likely to benefit men by boosting their professional status, a University of Arizona study has shown that it has the opposite effect on women. In fact, female humor — at least on first impression — was generally perceived as “disruptive” while male humor was seen as “functional.”

Ain’t that a laugh and a half.

Continue reading Women Can’t Be Funny (Seriously)

Is GPS Rotting Our Brains?

There’s a maxim I like: All technology invented before you’re 35 is genius and makes life worth living — and all technology invented thereafter is stupid and guaranteed to rot the brains of the bozos who rely on it. Now a study shows that when it comes to GPS, at least, the adage may be true.

Thanks to way-finding apps like Google Maps and Waze, paper maps have gone the way of the Dewey Decimal System, Wite-Out, and mixtapes — and it’s been a decade since anyone’s said, “If you pass the green fence, you’ve gone too far.” We count on our GPS-linked phones to tell us not only how to get where we’re going, but when to leave, which lane to be in, and what obstructions await us ahead. It’s mad handy, y’all. But what do we trade for this convenience?

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Escape-Room Escapades

Parents Prove Useless in Puzzling Through Adventure Game

Starshine and family, saving the world one Dark Wizard at a time.

We’re almost out of time — but I think we’re gonna make it. We’ve got five minutes left to unlock the chest that holds the ingredients to the potion that will defeat the Dark Wizard.

And then maybe grab some Yogurtland on the way home.

My husband, our sons, and I are in an escape room, and the clock is ticking. There are thousands of these adventure games all over the world now: a room or series of rooms intricately appointed with inconspicuous clues and puzzles, each one leading to another. You must solve them all within one hour to accomplish the goal: “Lift the curse!” “Steal the jewels!” “Defuse the bomb!” Each room has a unique story and aesthetic, from pirate’s treasure to haunted house.

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Dog People Are Happier Than Cat People

Study Settles One Part of Age-Old Debate

You may not like it. Heck, you may not even contribute to it. But in today’s America, you simply can’t escape it: Most of our citizens shake out into two diametrically opposed camps and seem to be constantly squaring off — often neighbor against neighbor, even — squabbling through the same old debate with clenched fists, raised voices and closed minds, dismissing one another’s points of view as so much flapjaw hogwash.

I’m referring, of course, to our nation’s flawed but abiding two-pet system — and I ain’t talking donkeys and elephants.

For perhaps centuries, animal lovers have fought like cats and dogs over which is the better pet: the domesticated hound or the common housecat. Now, at long last (it’s been, like, millennia in dog years), a study finally settles one aspect of the quarrel: Dog owners are just happier than cat owners.

Continue reading Dog People Are Happier Than Cat People

My columns are collected in three lovely books, which make a SPLENDID gift for wives, friends, book clubs, hostesses, and anyone who likes to laugh!
Keep Your Skirt On
Wife on the Edge
Broad Assumptions
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