headshot
Post a Comment
E-mail to a friend:

July 14, 2011

In Praise of My Eyebrows


Earlier this year, I was waylaid briefly at the You Call This a Career? rest stop, then zipped uneventfully through the I'm Too Old to Have Mismatched Flatware stop.

At present, I'm stranded on Highway 40, having run out of gas somewhere between I Used to Have a Waist, and What the Hell Is Happening to My Flesh?

Nowhere do we feel the march of time more — rather, the sense of having been dragged, flopping and grunting through time's unpaved roads — than in our physical selves. Our flagging energy. Freckling skin. Failing memories. And the nonsensical number of months it takes to recover from a stinkin' sprained ankle.

I have friends who turned 40 and ran their first marathon. This, to me, is something that should be forced upon dangerous criminals, not suggested to melancholy birthday girls; haven't we suffered enough?

Still, a gal can't turn 40 without setting a goal or two.

I was recently reading I Feel Bad About My Neck, Nora Ephron's hilarious essays about aging. "If anyone young is reading this," she writes, "go right this minute, put on a bikini and don't take it off until you're 34."


<< Back 123 Next >>


Keywords: birthdays  getting old  rest stops  goals  bikinis 


Comments


Post a Comment:

Name:
E-mail (will not be displayed):
Comment:
To help prevent spam, please re-enter the word that appears in pink below:

We reserve the right to edit or remove comments at our discretion.


<< Previous column View more columns Next column >>

Share this column with a friend

"You continue to amaze me with your willingness and comfort level with letting your readers into the most (or nearly the most) intimate aspects of your personal life. You make us feel like family. Thank you!"


Durward B.


Now Available:

...as well as Santa Barbara Bookstores Chaucer's, Tecolote & Granada Books, and Signed & Personalized direct from the publisher.


*

Recent columns:

July 30, 2015
Click, Cluck Goes the Online Shame Game

July 16, 2015
Tongs for Nothing: My (Latest) Parenting Failure

July 2, 2015
Can Transgender Folks Futz with Pronouns?

June 4, 2015
Crude Awakening: When the $#!% Hits the Sand

May 21, 2015
Hot for the Dad Bod?

More >>

Most E-mailed:

Sex Robots

Tongs for Nothing: My (Latest) Parenting Failure

The Cacophony of Corporate Squawk

Dating a Musician? I Recommend Bass Players

Indecent Exposure

More >>


Search:






Get my column in your e-mail inbox every week:

Name:
E-mail:

Or download the RSS News Feed




The contents of this site are © Starshine Roshell. All rights reserved. Site by Comicraft.