Faux Ho Ho
Are Fake Trees Cheating?
But as an admittedly jaded grown-up — i.e., the one who must pay for it, clean up after it, and prevent its seemingly inevitable combustion — it kind of stresses me out. I can't even look at our annual tree without thinking that it's in death's throes, fragile, parched, and drooping under the weight of my kids' ceramic salutations to the season.
So this year, I decided to buy a fake tree — and if you have inflatable snowmen on your lawn, or battery-operated flickering candles on your mantle, then you really need to withhold judgment, m-kay?
Perpetually seeking the Holiday Without Hassle, I've already switched to gift bags, e-cards, and blinding LED icicle lights. Why not haul home a tree that offers more bling for my buck?
First, I did research. Turns out the artificial Christmas tree was invented in the 1930s by a company that made, ahem, toilet brushes. They've come a long way since then, and although they're made of eco-evil PVC and may contain poisonous lead, real trees are doused in pesticides and schlepped in gas-guzzling trucks. So considering all the other guilt the season heaps upon us (I'm talkin' to you, egg nog), I crossed "responsibility" off my list of tree-buying concerns.
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