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August 26, 2010

The Art of the Come-On


The perfect come-on. It's the Holy Grail of dating, the enchanted key that unlocks the glorious gates of Eternal, On-Demand Lady Lovin'. Many seek it. Many fail.

"Shoot, I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

"Did you clean your pants with Windex? Because I can practically see myself in them."

The notion that a single pick-up line could win a woman's heart, or even convince her to doff her Hanky Pankies for an exceedingly pleasant 37 minutes, is so far-fetched I'd swear it were a myth. Except that, occasionally, it works.

I was sitting outside a Denny's recently, waiting for my family to arrive. A couple of young guys were walking in when one stopped and said, "Excuse me?"

I turned, expecting him to say that I'd dropped my car keys. Or forgotten to put on pants. You know, the usual.

"I just want to tell you, I think you're really pretty," he said.

And that was it. No creepy alligator smile. No goofy drunk-on-the-dance-floor body language. Just "you're really pretty," a shy grin, and he moseyed into the eatery.


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