Fall From Cool

From Hip to Humiliating in One Eye Roll

They said it would come, but I didn't believe them. They told me that one day my children would find me uncool. And worse than uncool: an utter, ego-shrinking embarrassment.

Me. The mom with the killer iPod song list. The mom who considers French fries a vegetable. Embarrassing? It didn't seem likely.

Then we attended a school concert last week, and when I erupted in my trademark rock-show howl of "oowwwww!", followed by a passionate shriek of "woo woo!", I glanced over at my 11-year-old son. And there it was.

The Eye Roll.

It wasn't a subtle eye roll, either. In fact, it was so exaggerated I thought he might tear an ocular tendon and have to spend the rest of his life staring at the back of his own skull. But then, perhaps this was his goal. At least he wouldn't have to see his newly ridiculous mother rocking out.

Fortunately, he needn't wallow solo in such shame. Seems the sentiment strikes all adolescents.

"My son's greatest mortification comes from when I try out the latest teen speak," a friend of mine confessed. "He once told me, 'Moms who drive Volvos are not allowed to say, 'Fo' shizzle!'"

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