Bucking Monogamy
Free-Loving Dissidents Buck Puritanism and Practice Polyamory
How can this be right? Why is he allowed to have intimacy, trust, and variety, damn him? But when I shake off any socially conditioned priggishness, it's hard to find real fault. It's not heartless if you're connecting with someone emotionally; it's not dishonest if everyone consents.
Logically, then, the only fair question is whether you can truly be in love with more than one person at a time: Does adding a second lover necessarily subtract from your bond with the first? I've heard that hurt feelings can still occur between poly playmates; just because there's no betrayal doesn't mean there's no jealousy.
I know a married mom from Santa Barbara who's polyamorous — but her beloved husband isn't. And he's not crazy about her two long-term lovers. "I don't necessarily believe in the limits that we place on relationships in a traditional marriage," she said. "I believe that the more people you love, the better your life will be. I believe in flexibility in thinking."
Indeed, it takes an open mind to properly ponder poly's ethical and emotional geometry. Assume, for starters, that its devotees look just like the rest of us prudes. They're not witchy weirdos with lust in their eyes; they're artists and engineers, realtors and baristas.
And the much-loved mom above? No kidding: She's a wedding planner.
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