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July 23, 2009

Rated PG for Parental Gaffe

A (Shocking) Walk Down Movie Memory Lane

It starts like this. You're chatting with your kid when a familiar phrase pops into your head. A line of dialogue from a favorite movie of your youth. "Eat my shorts" from The Breakfast Club, perhaps, or "Son, you got a panty on your head" from Raising Arizona. Maybe you're calling the family to the dinner table, Junior is unresponsive and you find yourself blurting, "Bueller? ... Bueller? ... Bueller? ..."

Then you realize, with a cold blast of horror, that your child has no idea what you're talking about. No frame of reference through which to recognize your superior cinematic literacy.

How can this be? (And this is where the faulty thinking begins.) No offspring of yours is going to go through life without studying the classics, without paying proper deference to the heroes of your adolescence, the big-screen giants whose vast wisdom and extraordinary wit shaped your psyche: Mel Brooks. Eddie Murphy. Long Duk Dong.

So you rent a movie, tell your kid, "You're gonna LOVE this" and plop down on the couch for a family movie night. Which is exactly when the cursing begins. And the full-frontal nudity. And the powder-snorting, pole-dancing, cop-killing and flagrant cracking of jokes so racist they actually make your jaw clench.

People, what the (rated R for language) were you thinking?

123 Next >>


The Breakfast Club: teaching a whole new generation the word "ruckus", and the method by which one asks for a description thereof.
Cody Parson

Tue, Jul 28, 2009

Man, been there, done that....great column, Star!
Marcia Meier

Tue, Jul 28, 2009

Thank you for saving me from being just such a nimrod, because I was actually thinking of watching some of the old standards with my 15 yr. old. But, hey, look on the bright side. You didn't show them a back to back marathon of Apocalypse Now and The Deer Hunter, as my dad so mistakenly did when I was 11 (thinking they would be educational).

I laughed out loud at your heroin needle teaching moment!

And, you had the forethought to leave out Heathers, I am guessing...


Tue, Jul 28, 2009

Good stuff, Star!
As an unconcerned grandparent, I'm grateful that I don't have this problem. I have no idea what to tell the kids. Imagine what many young'uns see when we're not home!!!

OK, back to adults-only Utube.
(Just kidding) (?)

John McCafferty

Tue, Jul 28, 2009

We went through EXACTLY that stage several years ago! I will never forget sitting down to watch A Fish Called Wanda with our 8-year-old and 11-year-old and having to yank it out of the DVD player. We'd completely forgotten how much Kevin Kline swears and how much sex is in it. Same thing happened with a few others. Finally we found a few that we could all watch safely and laugh hard, notably What About Bob, Ferris Bueller (by the time my kids were 14 and 11 it was fine) and, of course, Clueless, which we just watched again with our now-19-and-16 girls.
Colleen Bates

Tue, Jul 28, 2009

I had this exact experience with E.T. "Shut up Penis Breath" How do I explain that one to my 7 and 9 year old girls? My only recollection was a friendly alien encounter and Reese's Pieces.


Tue, Jul 28, 2009

This situation could not have come up to people of my generation, but I enjoyed your article very much, as usual.
John Ise

Wed, Jul 29, 2009

Hard to believe that the PG-13 rating celebrated it's 25th birthday this month. PG movies made prior to 1984 really do mean, "parental guidance."
Rob Wagner

Thu, Jul 30, 2009

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