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The fourth book in my series, Lather, Rage, Repeat is the biggest yet, and includes dozens of my very best columns from the past six years, including fan favorites “Bass Players”, “Sex Robots”, “Lawnmower Parents”, “Cuddle Parties” and many more. It makes a killer holiday gift for anyone who loves to laugh and has been feeling cranky since about November, 2016.

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Also available at Chaucer’s Books in Santa Barbara, and of course Amazon.com

Lifestyle Columns

Sex, politics, fashion and everything else a gen-X everygal loves to dish about.

2021

  • Enough with the Lies
    April 18, 2021
    Credit: Camilo Jimenez/Unsplash We’ve Been Through So Much. Can We at Least Be Done with Bullshit? It was January 6,…
  • Fictional Friends: COVID’s Perfect Companions
    February 27, 2021
    Credit: JESHOOTS via Unsplash Has Quarantine Left Me Overly Involved in the Lives of Your Streaming Pals? Once upon a…
  • Unity? Nah. Togetherness? Yes, Please.
    February 6, 2021
    Big Thoughts from a Small Room While Awaiting My COVID Results “Just keep looking straight ahead,” the woman said as…
  • COVID Drinking, Unmasked
    January 6, 2021
    Floating Through Pandemic on a River of Booze? I’ve never been a big drinker. Up until March 2020, I’d sip…

2020

  • Screw Hope. Trust Tenacity.
    December 6, 2020
    How Hannah-Beth Jackson Beat the Drum for Women’s Rights Photo of Hannah-Beth Jackson by Paul Wellman It was 11:56 p.m.…
  • Oh, Yes, He Did
    October 26, 2020
    Forget the Issues; Here’s What Swing State Voters Need to Remember Trump Has Done If you know any undecided voters…
  • Why Are So Many Folks Hankering for a Pandemic Pup?
    October 26, 2020
    Meet Ziggy. And say goodbye to my Mexican heather. I Took This Quaran-tunity to Adopt a Furry Friend Looking back,…
  • Enlisting the Break-Up Pros
    September 29, 2020
    Could Japan’s Wakaresaseya Woo Away Our Ball-and-Chain POTUS? Dear Wakaresaseya Agency, We were recently perusing the news when among the…
  • Zooming Away from Privacy
    July 10, 2020
    Nonstop Video Conferencing Puts Our Once-Secret Sanctuaries on Display It’s gutting the economy, ravaging health care, and battering education. But…
  • Mating in Captivity?
    May 2, 2020
    Why the Wave of ‘Quarantine Babies’ Must Be a Myth I’ve heard the prophecy. You’ve heard the prophecy. By now…
  • My Social Distancing Diary
    May 2, 2020
    Reporting from Weeks of Isolation with my Quaranteens Day One Inventoried all Lysol wipes on premises, trimmed nails short for…
  • Surprises of Suffrage
    March 8, 2020
    Susan B. Anthony’s Santa Barbara Sojourn Was Just One Stop on Rough Road to Get the Vote In the month…
  • The Optimism of Anita Hill
    February 14, 2020
    Anita Hill | Credit: Courtesy UCSB Arts & Lectures Talking Biden, Kavenaugh & willfull ignorance with #metoo's OG hero Before there was…
  • Is Porn the New Sex Ed?
    February 14, 2020
    The Conversation You Need to Have With Your Kids. Now. Arizona and Washington are debating this month whether to provide…
  • Period Parties
    January 18, 2020
    Parents painting town red for daughters’ first menstrual moment Biologically speaking, it’s never good news to discover blood exiting one’s…

2019

  • ‘Divorce Coach’ in Your Corner?
    December 18, 2019
    Pro Guides Aim to Pave Rough Road to Splitsville If you’ve seen the new Golden Globe–nominated movie Marriage Story on Netflix, then…
  • Ford v Ferrari v Female
    November 18, 2019
    The Dude Porn of Gleaming Roadsters and White Men Behaving Badly It’s the final lap of the grueling 24 Hours…
  • Best Husband So Far, Hands Down
    November 2, 2019
    An Ode to Mr. Roshell on Our 25th Anniversary Before you, I never paid much attention to a boy’s hands.…
  • Surviving the Sierras
    November 2, 2019
    Dragged Backpacking with Outdoorsy Old Men By Guest Columnist Stone Roshell [caption id="attachment_1408" align="alignnone" width="225"] Stone Roshell, Starshine's son[/caption] The…
  • Morgan & Rapinoe’s Goals Beyond the Goal
    October 12, 2019
    Women’s World Cup Champions Are Using Clout to Spotlight Inequality One is a self-proclaimed “walking protest” with fuchsia hair who…
  • ‘Unpregnant’: Born of Political Rage
    October 12, 2019
    Talking with Authors of New Abortion Road-Trip Comedy Novel It was 2011, and writer Jenni Hendriks was in her car, creeping through…
  • My Crisis of Comedy
    October 12, 2019
    In unfunny era, comedian talks me off the Ledge of No Laughter All I ever really wanted to do was…
  • My Crisis of Comedy
    September 3, 2019
    In unfunny era, comedian talks me off the Ledge-of-No-Laughter [caption id="attachment_1204" align="alignnone" width="1000"] Pictured: Katie Goodman[/caption] All I ever really…
  • Pink Tax Got You Blue?
    August 12, 2019
    For Many Products, Women Pay More than Men What could I do with $64, 843? I could buy an all-wheel-drive…
  • Women Can’t Be Funny (Seriously)
    July 9, 2019
    Study Shows Women Using Humor at Work Seen as ‘Disruptive’ More women are running for president right now than ever…
  • Is GPS Rotting Our Brains?
    June 28, 2019
    There’s a maxim I like: All technology invented before you’re 35 is genius and makes life worth living — and…
  • Dog People Are Happier Than Cat People
    May 28, 2019
    Study Settles One Part of Age-Old Debate You may not like it. Heck, you may not even contribute to it.…
  • New Target Doesn’t Hit the Bull’s Eye
    April 15, 2019
    But It Scratches an Itch I’ve Been Trying to Reach for 17 Years [caption id="attachment_1167" align="alignnone" width="622"] SB Independent[/caption] At…
  • Are You a Lawnmower Parent?
    April 1, 2019
    College Admissions Scandal Reveals Dangers of Clearing Smooth Path for Kids You’re really not a parent of import anymore unless…
  • My Climate Just Changed
    March 7, 2019
    From Hormones to Ozone, Irreversible, Existential Change Is a Bitch An iceberg twice the size of Manhattan is moments away from…
  • A Control Freak’s Funeral
    February 22, 2019
    It’s My Party and You’ll Dance If I Want You To Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to plan a…
  • A Drink with Dr. Chill
    February 22, 2019
    Taking the Stress Out of Stress Management He promised me a beer but made me order tea instead. “Hot tea is…
  • An Interview with Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage
    January 13, 2019
    Lawyer Gloria Allred Talks ‘War on Women’ and ‘Age of Empowerment’ Love her or hate her, Gloria Allred is the master…
  • O Come, All Ye Frenzied
    January 13, 2019
    It’s Ho-Ho-Horrid When the Mind Cedes to Seasonal Bedlam I wanted to write a column this week. I swear I did.…
  • Diving into Cuddle Parties
    January 13, 2019
    Is Growing Trend Truly Soothing Comfort ... or Just Sanctioned Groping? Apocalyptic fires. Mass shootings. An executive branch of government demonizing…
  • Bliss by Pavement Pounding
    January 13, 2019
    Lessons from Door-to-Door, Get-Out-the-Vote Canvassing For two years, I’ve been suffering from a strange, specific feeling: I’m in a hole in…

2018

  • Beer Meets Brains at Quiz Night
    October 19, 2018
    “Baby Got Back” blares. The Guinness tap flows. And 50-some bar patrons flex their gray matter to deduce the unit…
  • Giddy for ‘Your Loss’
    October 15, 2018
    Hometown Girl Kit Steinkellner Creates, Writes New Facebook Watch Series You wake up in the middle of the night to pounding…
  • Congresswoman Reflects on Struggles in New Book
    October 15, 2018
    Lois Capps Reveals Work Was Never as Easy as She Made It Look During the two decades she represented California’s Central…
  • The Day the Journalists Vanished
    August 26, 2018
    No One Fretted Much Over the War on the Press. Big Mistake. It began that morning with an eerie silence: the…
  • Camping Sucks; There, I Said It
    August 26, 2018
    Done Apologizing for Detesting the Great Outdoors I’m sitting 5,400 feet high in the Sierra Nevada mountains at the edge of…
  • Rage Is My Super Power
    August 26, 2018
    Hormonal Surges Fuel Temper That’s Uncontrollable — but Could Power Gotham At my son’s summer camp, the kids get to know…
  • A Cart … Apart
    July 14, 2018
    Debate over Returning Shopping Carts Mirrors Political Divide I love a good story, well told. A powerful narrative can puncture our…
  • Oh, Say, Can You C-Word?
    June 26, 2018
    Notes on a feckless country The word couldn’t have gotten more buzz if Trump’s stubby thumbs had tweeted it from…
  • One Space. Period.
    June 2, 2018
    Foes of Formatting Want Us to Take Double-Spaced Step Backward For months on end, I’ve been watching in shock as seemingly…
  • A Requiem for Trolls Gone By
    June 2, 2018
    I'm Nostalgic for Nasty Online Commenters For a decade, they plagued me. Called me bitch, boob, bigot. Speculated about my weight…
  • The Call of Target’s Toilets
    June 2, 2018
    Do You Know About The Bull’s-Eye’s Bathroom Phenomenon? A dozen years ago, despondent at the dearth of a Target in our…
  • Speaking with the Enemy?
    March 10, 2018
    Chatting Up Christian Gun Owners 'The Benham Bros.'  Much has been sermonized about the incivility of modern American discourse: We’re…
  • This Is Not Your Parents’ Sex
    March 10, 2018
    Women Share Stories About Sex After 50 Nobody wants to think about their parents having sex. Or their parents’ friends. Or,…
  • #Me … NotSoMuch?
    March 10, 2018
    Confessions of a Last-Wave Feminist Ladies, I gotta come clean. From the first time I saw it on a social media…
  • Will I Marry You? Why Knot
    January 21, 2018
    Reverend Starshine Reporting for Duty Only two men have ever seriously asked me to marry them, and I said yes to…
  • Safe Table Talk for the Holiday Season
    January 21, 2018
    Conversing Peacefully with Your Family at Thanksgiving It’s been quite a year, folks. Hell, it’s been quite a week. In the…
  • Smutty Buddies
    January 21, 2018
    A Plea to Sex-Robot Makers Dear Manufacturers of These Sex Robots I Keep Hearing About, Apologies for this interruption as…

2017

  • That’s No Hurricane; It’s a Him-icane
    October 22, 2017
    The Gender Saga Behind Naming Storms Hazel killed hundreds in 1954. Camille flattened cities in 1969. And Agnes cost billions in…
  • Thank You, President Trump
    August 25, 2017
    #45’s Frequent Failings Take my Mind off my Tween It’s a phrase you don’t hear often. His chiefs of staff…
  • God-Peddlers: Beware of Resident
    June 6, 2017
    When Jehovah’s Witnesses Come A-Knockin’ ... In an un-trafficked corner of our living room sits a humble, lumpy pet bed. It’s…
  • Trump Makes Women Want to Run
    June 5, 2017
    That smug, can’t-catch-me grin. Those wee flailing hands, attempting to punctuate facts that don’t exist. That whiny voice huffing, “The…
  • Trump Plump: Post-Election Stress Eating Is a Thing
    April 3, 2017
    You used to be fun, they say. You used to make us titter with your escapist jaunts into the lighter…
  • Q&A with Gloria Steinem
    March 2, 2017
    Gloria Steinem Can't Believe We're Still Fighting This Shit 82-Year-Old Feminist Answers 20 Questions with Starshine Roshell She loved the superhero’s truth-coaxing…
  • ‘Shout Your Abortion’: Whispering Isn’t Working
    February 19, 2017
    She wasn’t trying to start a revolution. But it was September 2015, the House had just voted to defund Planned…

2016

2015

2014

  • Plan B Partners
    November 6, 2014
    Do you have a 'backburner' boyfriend in mind—just in case your marriage falls apart? New study says yes, you do.
  • ’80s Dancing Is the Only Tolerable Workout
    October 11, 2014
    Keep Your CrossFit; I Want to Bust Out the Belinda
  • Pray Tell: The Hocus Pocus of Happy Thoughts
    September 25, 2014
    Having a hard time this week, folks. Thanks for listening.
  • Women’s Bits
    September 11, 2014
    My Column. Helping Women Find Their Vaginas Since 2001.
  • Too Old for a Micro-Mini?
    August 14, 2014
    Is it time to stop shopping at Forever 21? (And can it at least wait till I've spent this gift…
  • Wife-Carrying: An Actual Thing
    July 17, 2014
    Have you heard of this sport?! Naturally, I had to try it.
  • Ms. Roshell Goes to Washington
    July 4, 2014
    What happens when a jaded Hollywood brat touches down on Rome-on-the-Potomac? Stuff. That's what.
  • Are You a Feminist NOW?
    June 5, 2014
    Listen up, sisters: You don't get to treat feminism like an accessory that would ruin your otherwise awesome outfit.
  • Where Does the Story End?
    May 8, 2014
    How do you know when Book Club is over? Mine might be in its final chapter ...
  • A Woman Unglued
    April 24, 2014
    My interview with the hilarious, perimenopausal, can't-believe-she's-flipping-50 Sandra Tsing Loh.
  • A Reader Writes My Lead
    March 13, 2014
    My gasping attempt to write a column based on a first and last sentence submitted by reader Hattie Husbands during…
  • How My Grandma Looks
    February 27, 2014
    My hard-scrabble, good-humor grandmother asked me a startling question just days after a stroke paralyzed her left side.
  • What the Focus This?
    February 13, 2014
    So it turns out I'm lousy at meditation. But I write a hell of a headline.
  • Sex Robots
    January 16, 2014
    Yep, you heard me.

2013

  • I Am Not Making This Up: I Interviewed Dave Barry
    December 19, 2013
    Here's how life works: On the day you're scheduled to interview your idol, you wake up with acute laryngitis. I…
  • Men Are Going Bare. Down There.
    December 5, 2013
    If I don't report on these trends, people ... WHO WILL?
  • Transgender Students
    November 21, 2013
    Fellas in the ladies' room, chicks on the football team ... it's pandemonium out there, people. And I've got the…
  • Happy Amnesia-versary
    October 24, 2013
    It's a blind spot on my dear husband's brain. And apparently it's a common affliction ...
  • Shopping for Stun Guns
    October 10, 2013
    Lured to the sea by the promise of a champagne brunch ... and the SPANX-like effect of a borrowed wetsuit.
  • Surf Lesson
    September 26, 2013
    Lured to the sea by the promise of a champagne brunch ... and the SPANX-like effect of a borrowed wetsuit.
  • Selling Used Pregnancy Tests?
    September 12, 2013
    Wanna buy a stick that someone peed on? NOW YOU CAN!
  • PMS: A Safety Guide for Men
    August 15, 2013
    Advice for fellas on tiptoeing around a woman who is riding the prickly premenstrual pony.
  • Kids Left in Cars
    July 18, 2013
    A fatal, forgetful mistake.
  • Teenage Summer Views
    July 4, 2013
    My son Stone wrote this week's column for me. Seems he may have a future in Making Fun of HIs…
  • Lines ‘n’ Lies at Disney
    June 20, 2013
    Would you pay $1,000 to a disabled tour guide so you could be first in line at Star Tours??
  • Atheists Saved!
    June 6, 2013
    The Lord giveth and the Lord retracteth for damage control.
  • No, I Won’t Go to Your Kid’s Show
    May 23, 2013
    Life's too short to watch other people's children sing 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight.'
  • Backyard Chickens a Fowl Idea?
    May 9, 2013
    Does the urban coop trend have wings? Not in my clucking yard.
  • My Midlife, Half-Hearted Crisis
    April 25, 2013
    My 'midlife' is only a 'crisis' because it finds me doing everything half-assed -- if I even put that much…
  • Advice for Advice Columnists
    January 31, 2013
    Got to chat with bestselling 'Wild' author and Dear Sugar columnist Cheryl Strayed recently. She talked me off the advice-columnist…

2012

2011

2010

  • Well, Excuuuuuse Him!
    December 16, 2010
    Are comedians required to be Wild-and-Crazy at all times?
  • Faux Ho Ho
    December 9, 2010
    Are fake trees cheating? You tell me.
  • Vajazzling Is Befuddling
    November 18, 2010
    I'm a chick who likes to twinkle, OK? But I draw the line at gilding the lily.
  • Love Among the Stars
    November 4, 2010
    Addicted and Ashamed: Why I Can't Stop Caring About Celeb Sex Lives ...
  • In Honor of MJ
    October 21, 2010
    Something evil's lurking in the dark: Bustin' the 'Thriller' dance in public, baby!
  • Beauty Secrets Revealed
    October 14, 2010
    The downside of living in sin ...
  • Ana Marie Cox Waxes Wonky
    October 7, 2010
    I got to talk pot, punditry and Ann Coulter with Wonkette/Rachel Maddow bestie Ana Marie Cox!
  • ‘Why He’s My Ex’
    September 23, 2010
    The worst boyfriends in history ...
  • Since When Does ‘Adult’ Mean Dirty?
    September 9, 2010
    Vibrating underpants, busty cops, and vaginal rejuvenation at Adultcon 2010.
  • The Art of the Come-On
    August 26, 2010
    If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
  • Once Upon Two Mattresses
    August 12, 2010
    Starshine goes under-covers to see why couples are pulling an I-Love-Lucy in the boudoir.
  • Comic Books
    July 22, 2010
    If they're dragging me to Comic-Con, they'd better at least defend their odd fascination with superheroes ...
  • Mini-Cakes
    July 15, 2010
    An ode to cupcakes, in honor of Santa Barbara's upcoming Cupcake Camp.
  • Take This Ring and …
    July 1, 2010
    Is your divorce worth celebrating? Couples are now saying 'I don't' in much the same way they said 'I do'
  • Relationship Dissection
    June 17, 2010
    When scientists get their gloved hands on our heartstrings, it gives me the willies.
  • On Decent Proposals
    June 3, 2010
    How'd he pop the question -- and does it really matter?
  • Cycle-wary
    May 20, 2010
    Are the joys of motorcycle riding worth the broken clavicles?
  • Should Marriage Expire?
    May 6, 2010
    In case 'I do' isn't supposed to last forever ...
  • No More Meanies
    April 22, 2010
    Enough with compassion. I miss screaming 'Flickwad!' out the car window.
  • Unforgettable Mistakes
    March 25, 2010
    What did you do RIGHT today?
  • Breast Milk Canapé
    March 18, 2010
    Breast milk CHEESE?! Turns my stomach but not for the reason you think ...
  • Book Club’s Dramatic Chapter
    March 11, 2010
    He lied. She cried. And we showed up and listened.
  • Panhandlers Beg the Question
    March 4, 2010
    How do YOU handle panhandlers?
  • Dazzling Dollhouse
    February 4, 2010
    My dad is a woodcarver and he worked most of a year on my 'tiny mansion.' It was replete with…
  • Cars Are for Banging
    January 28, 2010
    Dents? What dents??
  • Bucking Monogamy
    January 21, 2010
    Lovin' large? Polyamorists see love as a many -- MANY -- splendored thing.

2009

  • Single Ladies Lament
    December 17, 2009
    Why should I be blessed with a guy who turns me on and tolerates my considerable freakiness when so many…
  • Prime-Time Promises
    December 3, 2009
    What happens when TV producers option your book for a sitcom? I found out.
  • Going to Bed Angry
    November 19, 2009
    Starshine went to bed angry and lived to write about it.
  • Sexile
    November 5, 2009
    Putting the kibosh on campus canoodling?
  • Doing the Right Thing
    October 22, 2009
    Am I the only one confused and incapacitated by knowing the fiendish ways that every product on the market will…
  • Welcome to the Gun Show
    October 8, 2009
    Too aggro for yoga, too wussy for ... well, anything that hurts, I need to be tricked into fitness.
  • My Kingdom for Bloody Bandwidth
    September 24, 2009
    When I discover that my Internet is down -- defunct, dead -- I panic.
  • Missing My Mall
    September 10, 2009
    Malls are the 3-D version of thumbing through your favorite magazine: At best, you find something delightful inside. At worst,…
  • Straight Girl/Gay Guy
    August 27, 2009
    Why Every Girl Needs a Gay
  • Derby Dames
    August 13, 2009
    S.B.'s Mission City Brawlin' Betties Are Roller Skating Badasses
  • Is Waxing Waning?
    July 30, 2009
    Not Even a Recession Can Keep Women from Waxing
  • Never Say Neverland
    July 3, 2009
    Starshine reports from the frontlines of the Michael Jackson saga, where crazed news crews outnumbered crazy fans.
  • Real-Life TV
    July 2, 2009
    What Your 'Reality' Show Says About You.
  • Gay Marriage in the Midwest
    June 4, 2009
    Who's cool now? Starshine reveals why Iowa kicks California's toned, tanned tushie.
  • Pearly Whites
    May 7, 2009
    Did you know it's rude to bleach your teeth in church? Starshine did not.
  • The Mythical Cougar
    April 23, 2009
    The claws come out when Starshine watches 20 hairless, pec-flexing beauhunks woo a Cougar.
  • Notes from the Road
    April 9, 2009
    RV having fun yet? A report from the road.
  • The Height of My Career
    March 26, 2009
    I'm not a ginormous person. Not hulking. Not alpine. I couldn't, like, take down Ann Coulter in a cage fight,…
  • The Love Contract
    March 12, 2009
    Got the hots for your boss? Starshine issues a memo on interoffice 'love contracts.'
  • Joy is Cheap
    February 26, 2009
    Joy Is Cheap: Starshine's dirt-broke and looking for free fun. Add to her list!
  • Stud or Schlub: Lust on the Red Carpet
    February 12, 2009
    Is it weird NOT to have a crush on the usual Hollywood man candy?
  • Sitters: The Last Stand
    January 22, 2009
    Recalling Poor Judgment Girl and Blatant Liar Guy, Starshine asks that her next babysitter obey just six simple rules.
  • Jogging Mania
    January 15, 2009
    This town is a runner's rapture. But what are you really running from?
  • Just Say ‘Know’ to Teen Sex
    January 8, 2009
    Starshine learns about 'sexting' in a teen sex workshop.

2008

  • Fellas, Please! Don’t Go!
    December 18, 2008
    Genital shrinkage? Starshine ponders news that the male gender is, well, dwindling.
  • Embers to Ashes
    December 4, 2008
    Saving your ash: Starshine asks evacuees what they took with them when they fled the flames.
  • Dear Prop. 8 Supporters
    November 20, 2008
    Starshine wonders how it feels to 'win' ... and still be such losers?
  • Grrrrling at the Moon
    November 4, 2008
    Nothing bad ever started with a skinny dip.
  • Halloween for the Slutty Sort
    October 23, 2008
    The Slutty Mechanic? Starshine peeked at this year's Halloween costumes. And she's frightened.
  • Watch Her Strut
    October 9, 2008
    Starshine steps into the debate on whether a woman's walk can sum up her sexual history.
  • Another Sticky Mess for O.J.
    September 25, 2008
    Crime scene confession: With OJ back in court, Starshine admits to shoddy reporting back when Simpson's wife was murdered.
  • The Heir a Parent?
    September 9, 2008
    Starshine doesn't give a moose's duff what kind of mother Sarah Palin is.
  • Cyber Sleuthing
    August 14, 2008
    Bald? Rich? Covered in tattoos? Starshine gets hooked on the shockingly addictive, slightly creepy pastime of Googling exes.
  • Column Me Irresponsible
    July 31, 2008
    I'd love to tell McCain exactly where he can put his stale rhetoric. Instead, I tell him where he can't…
  • A Gal in the Guys’ Gym
    July 17, 2008
    Starshine has been thrust, Spandex-clad, into a world of sweaty, grunting beefcakes. And she doesn't like it as much as…
  • Facebook Friendships Hard to Ignore
    July 3, 2008
    Poked by a stranger? Facebook friendships are freaky.
  • Church and State Collide on Highway
    June 19, 2008
    Church and state collide on South Carolina's highways, leaving atheists a little cross.
  • So I Think I Can Dance
    June 5, 2008
    With Starshine, watusi is what you get.
  • Obama’s Term of Endearment Leaves Bitter Aftertaste
    May 22, 2008
    Obama! Baby! Sweetheart! Advising the sweet-talkin' senator to watch his language.
  • Bawling for Dollars
    May 8, 2008
    Buying into a women's wampum workshop where there's no deficit of tears.
  • A Croc of Shoe
    May 1, 2008
    Starshine swears that your favorite holey, rubbery sandals are Lucifer's footwear.
  • Paradise Found
    April 10, 2008
    Starshine misses Cancun by 500 miles and wakes up in another strange, exotic land. Wearing capri pants.
  • Thank You, Officer. No Really.
    April 3, 2008
    Starshine's caught speeding and, to her own shock, doesn't try to wriggle out of it.
  • I’m Virtually Popular!
    March 27, 2008
    Cyber colleague Starshine explains why working at home is about as satisfying as eating a virtual donut.
  • Notes from the Citizen McCaw Red Carpet
    March 13, 2008
    She laughed, she cried, she cursed. Starshine reports on Citizen McCaw from where she sat.
  • She’s Great. Him I Hate.
    February 28, 2008
    Starshine lays out options for coping with the calamitous-couple conundrum.
  • Ode to Real Love
    February 14, 2008
    Starshine scrawls a love note to the guy she used to shower with.
  • How to Love Hate Mail
    January 31, 2008
    Starshine -- also known as the ignorant, insulting, poor-mannered whiner who clearly hates her family -- shares some of her…
  • My New Stud
    January 17, 2008
    Starshine tells the hole truth about piercings.

2007

  • Swearing Off New Year’s Promises
    December 27, 2007
    Starshine takes on a hated New Year's tradition, and wishes that your 2008 be F-bomb free
  • Merry Solstice
    December 13, 2007
    Starshine lets her heathen flag fly.
  • Pretty, Please?
    November 29, 2007
    Guide to gorgeous: From common vinegar to pricey Line Refiners, Starshine begged her gal pals to reveal their long-guarded beauty…
  • Email Embarrassment
    November 15, 2007
    One tiny mistake. Just a blip of a slip of a finger. And in that common email error, Starshine exposed…
  • Smellywood’s Puttin’ on the Spritz
    November 1, 2007
    I smell a sucker. Starshine takes a good, long whiff of Britney Spears and David Beckham.
  • Doppeldressers
    October 18, 2007
    Starshine undresses the odd phenomenon of showing up in the same outfit as another woman, and being thus inspired to…
  • Cool Beans
    October 11, 2007
    Health care? Tax cuts? Ha! Starshine explains why chocolate is the obvious and abundant answer to society's ills.
  • Taking the Stand
    September 20, 2007
    Yes, as a matter of fact, I DO solemnly swear. Starshine describes what it's like to be a witness in…
  • Mop Scene
    September 13, 2007
    The filthy truth: Starshine comes clean about housekeeper guilt.
  • Sex drive?
    August 30, 2007
    Starshine has a revelation about hanky-panky in a hatchback.
  • Oil Meets Girl
    August 23, 2007
    Starshine confesses to a brief but hands-on affair with a hot stone masseuse.
  • Granny’s Yarn
    August 2, 2007
    The size of their bosoms and underpants notwithstanding, Starshine and her grandma have something cool in common. They both love…
  • Sinning Senators Are So Ho-Hum
    July 26, 2007
    Another senator (yawn) was caught with his pants down. Starshine ponders the nature of Capitol Hill canoodling.
  • Flights of Fancy
    July 12, 2007
    As summer vacations get airborne, Starshine pens a personal letter to first-class passengers everywhere.
  • Everything I Know About Men I Learned at Strip Clubs
    June 28, 2007
    A bus tour of Portland's all-nude strip clubs reveals something Starshine didn't expect - a rare glimpse into the male…
  • My First Fisticuffs: The Good, the Bad and the Bloody
    June 21, 2007
    After a boxing match at the Chumash Casino, featherweight Starshine Roshell takes a few jabs at this sweet science -…
  • Mancations
    June 7, 2007
    Starshine's husband would rather risk a concussion than spend Father's Day with her and their mutual children. Go figure.
  • Designer Vaginas
    May 24, 2007
    Talk about gilding the lily. Starshine explores why the fastest growing trend in plastic surgery is a cut, er, below.
  • Here’s the Buzz
    May 3, 2007
    On the same day scientists announced the mysterious disappearance of the nation's honeybees, Starshine Roshell actually found the little buggers.…
  • Shaking My Faith in Quad
    April 26, 2007
    College is supposed to be a place where the safety of childhood overlaps with the freedom of adulthood. But last…
  • A Week of Strong
    April 12, 2007
    Last weekend, like all weekends before it, I was confronted with a barrage of shame-inducing images: Fleshless twenty-somethings flitting along…
  • Aisles of Smiles
    March 28, 2007
    Lettuce? Yes. String cheese? Sure. But did you know there's bliss to be found in the aisles of a supermarket?
  • Numb and Number
    March 22, 2007
    I'm no stranger to sedation. As a teen, whenever the storm of adolescence would shudder through my soul and come…
  • Go With the Flow
    March 15, 2007
    It's the time of the week when Starshine Roshell talks about the time of the month. In her opinion, a…
  • If I Ran the Zoo
    February 28, 2007
    Starshine mixes some social commentary with a tribute to Dr. Suess on his birthday.
  • Going Gay
    February 22, 2007
    Inspired by Rev. Ted Haggard's miraculous conversion, Starshine Roshell confesses her boredom with heterosexuality and ponders the possibility of making…
  • Cold-Hearted or Hot-Blooded?
    February 15, 2007
    Starshine compares nutty astronauts and icy presidential candidates, asking 'How do we want our female leaders— passionate and unpredictable or…
  • Football’s All About the Outfits
    January 31, 2007
    With the Super Bowl looming, Starshine reminds us what football's really all about: The outfits.
  • Nipping Sniggers in the Bud
    January 25, 2007
    Starshine takes a cold, hard look at what's going on beneath women's blouses.
  • Not a Single Regret
    January 18, 2007
    Starshine chats with Bella DePaulo, Summerland resident and visiting professor at UCSB, about her new book, which explores the social…
  • Thank You For Coming, Now Get Out
    January 11, 2007
    Now that Shindig Season has passed, let's resolve to be better party guests this year by learning when to set…

2006

  • Yule’s Jewels
    December 7, 2006
    We all know diamonds are the world's hardest natural substance, but the jewelry industry doesn't seem to believe it. Judging…
  • X Appeal
    November 30, 2006
    There are not a lot of things we, as a society, can learn from Rob Lowe. The Montecito resident can't…
  • Pole Positions
    November 22, 2006
    It started out as an innocent evening, with plans to meet a girlfriend for a local book-signing. But when it…
  • Floss This
    November 9, 2006
    I'm going to tell you a secret, but you have to promise it won't leave this page. Because it's kind…
  • Fertile Fashion
    November 2, 2006
    A recent study shows that women's style of dress changes throughout our menstrual cycles: We opt for more attractive outfits…
  • Diary of a Protest Virgin
    October 26, 2006
    Until this summer, I had never protested anything in my life. I hail from the Slacker generation, a group of…
  • Resignation Letter
    October 3, 2006
    I hereby resign from the News-Press. And since you no longer control what I say and how I say it,…

2002

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My columns are collected in three lovely books, which make a SPLENDID gift for wives, friends, book clubs, hostesses, and anyone who likes to laugh!
Keep Your Skirt On
Wife on the Edge
Broad Assumptions
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