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The fourth book in my series, Lather, Rage, Repeat is the biggest yet, and includes dozens of my very best columns from the past six years, including fan favorites “Bass Players”, “Sex Robots”, “Lawnmower Parents”, “Cuddle Parties” and many more. It makes a killer holiday gift for anyone who loves to laugh and has been feeling cranky since about November, 2016.

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Date archive for: October 2020

Oh, Yes, He Did

Forget the Issues; Here’s What Swing State Voters Need to Remember Trump Has Done

If you know any undecided voters in Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania or Wisconsin, will you please share this with them — like today? Thank you kindly.

Dear Swing State Voter,

This isn’t a rant about guns, same-sex marriage, reproductive rights, or global warming. Those are issues — and issues are for elections with two qualified candidates of unequivocal character. I hope to have the luxury of debating issues with you again someday. 

What this is: just a list of well-documented things Donald Trump has done (go ahead, look ’em up) while overseeing the most powerful country on Earth. We joke about having become numb to the shocking behavior coming from the White House over the past four years. But today, as the electorate waits for you to fill in the tiny oval that best reflects your values — it’s worth remembering.

Continue reading Oh, Yes, He Did
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Why Are So Many Folks Hankering for a Pandemic Pup?

Meet Ziggy. And say goodbye to my Mexican heather.

I Took This Quaran-tunity to Adopt a Furry Friend

Looking back, it may not have been the best idea to get a puppy right after replanting our entire backyard. In the course of managing COVIDoldrums, they both just seemed like smart, unrelated projects to occupy our time.

Even as I type this, though, there’s a muddy-muzzled, filthy-pawed, remorseless little furball on the pale rug beside me gnawing maniacally on one of the five plants she uprooted today and lugged into my office, dirt clods and all.

It’s not like we needed a puppy. We have a perfectly good adult dog already, and our life was pleasantly predictable. We could sleep through the night. We could open our front door without fear of any residents escaping. Our hands were not covered in lacerations from tiny, “YOW!”-inducing needle teeth.

But when it became clear that life outside of our wearisome walls would not be resuming anytime soon, we joined thousands across the nation and took this quaran-tunity to adopt a furry friend. 

Continue reading Why Are So Many Folks Hankering for a Pandemic Pup?
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My columns are collected in three lovely books, which make a SPLENDID gift for wives, friends, book clubs, hostesses, and anyone who likes to laugh!
Keep Your Skirt On
Wife on the Edge
Broad Assumptions
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